Westeros Bastards: Flowers

There once was a woman called Flowers
Who possessed supernatural powers;
Although she grew stronger,
The Maesters refused her,
So blew up the Citadel towers.


Westeros Bastards: Snow


There was a young bastard named Snow
Who wanted to put on a show;
He jumped from the Wall,
The ground broke his fall,
It turned out he wasn’t a Crow.



There was a young bastard named Snow
Who thought he could fly like a Crow
He jumped from the Wall,
The ground broke his fall,
The Wildlings enjoyed his short show.


I stand at number forty nine
It’s now seven twenty two,
Vincent Vega riding shotgun
I’ve my nine milly with me too.

When Marvin unbolts the door,
Here’s homeboys Roger and Brett;
They sure pissed off Marcellus,
It’s time they paid their debt.

But first let’s share some breakfast
It’s come from Big Kahuna,
You know, the Hawaiian joint–
Now that’s a tasty burger.

I wash it all down
The Sprite hits the spot
The shit’s under the bed
That’s it: jackpot.

Bang, goodbye Roger,
Brett, don’t fucking say what–
I double dare you,
You deserve this next shot.

Now for Ezekiel
Twenty-five, seventeen;
It seems appropriate
For your final scene.

Bang bang bang bang bang bang
Was it the will of the divine?
No, this is no miracle–
This is my design.

A Sonnet of Ice and Fire

“Winter is coming” or so maesters claim,
This book of golden summer will soon close;
So we must prepare with iron and flame
Pray to the Seven, save us from our foes.
Many are they, with each claiming that throne
Now that our belovèd stag is no more;
We wish for peace again, like that we’ve known
But travails and hardship lie now in store.
For far in the North, way beyond the Wall
In desolate lands where wildlings roam free,
Old monsters return to ruin us all,
Threats long forgotten, now real as can be.
Alone the Night’s Watch cannot win this fight;
Seven divided kingdoms must now unite.